Share of the Week: When Our Country Hates Our Hair

I never would have imagined that our hair would become the subject of discussions in the halls of government or an op-ed in The New York Times, but so it has.

Image

A leaked photo (via thegrio.com) depicting supposedly questionable hair styles.

 

The media, particularly TheGrio.com is closely following fallout from proposed updates to the Army’s personal appearance and grooming policies in AR 670-1, which severely restrict how women will be allowed to wear their hair as they dedicate their lives to upholding our democracy and protecting strategic diplomatic and energy resources overseas.

According to one source, women service members may not be allowed to:

  • wear multiple braids
  • wear anything but plain headbands
  • wear twists

Of course, the regulations drew the ire of women in the service and female members of Congress who view the new rules as insensitive to and ignorant about the realities of caring for thick, ethnic hair. Don’t the policy makers have any experience at all with Black women and the lengths they go to to manage their hair before showing up at work? And even so, a line of propriety has been overstepped here. As long as these women report to their commanding officers on time, and their hair styles aren’t distracting or impractical for their helmets, why bother picking this fight?

It just smacks of racism, too. As if someone, somewhere went looking for a reason to make life harder for certain armed forces members. I read somewhere that Black female officers were part of the rule-making committee in this instance, which makes me wonder what sort of function they have in the Army. Are they among the active duty service members who need to tame their hair under a helmet while hauling around tons of gear through deserts, jungles and mountain trails, etc?

I suppose we can take some solace in the fact that tattoos will be limited as well, so that men will have to be more careful about how they carry themselves.

But even that comes as little comfort against the bigger picture — of a weird, creeping feeling that most people in the U.S. still don’t have a clue about the lives of Black women, their own fellow Americans, and that if they do know what we experience they want to trivialize it.

It used to be that Black women could carry out their love-hate relationship with their hair in private. Naturalistas love the range of looks our hair can adapt to, from teeny-weeny Afros (my current style to an array braids, bantu knots, locks, twists and twist-outs, and variations on those themes. But impatient ones like me hate the time and effort it takes to manage and groom thick, curly and often coiled and zig-zagged hair. Those who chemically straighten their hair or cover their locks in weaves and wigs could talk about how to preserve hair health while wearing the styles they want.

Now that good judgement has been taken out of our own hands and thrust into a White House petition, of all places. This is so demeaning and silly. I can only hope that actions being taken to review the policy result in something more fair and less humiliating.

What do you think of the Army’s rules, lawmakers’ responses and the media backlash?

 

 

Link

Lovely Lupita: 2014’s Most Beautiful Woman

There she is, Miss Africa (yes, the whole continent), Miss Worls, Miss Everything.

The intelligent, beautiful and talented Lupita Nyong’o has just been named People has named the actress and documentary film maker 2014’s Most Beautiful. We can certainly understand what they see in her!

be59f0d0-cadf-11e3-921b-53c20c8455e0_2048_LupitaNyongo1_042314

Beauty, brains and heart? No problem.

Congratulations to Ms. Nyong’o for not only taking the world by storm, but being so poised, intelligent and inspiring along the way. This honor says a lot about our acceptance of and comfort with dark-skinned beauty, despite everything around us: the constant onslaught of images reinforcing some people’s preferences for light-skinned beauty, and even a self-loathing so profound that skin lightening and bleaching is so rampant in Africa and the Caribbean.

Africa has been making strides for some years now in the areas of economic resurgence and cultural influence. We’ve had many heroes emerge from that vast and fascinating continent, and Lupita is just the latest in a long line of authors, activists, musicians, economists … the list goes on … who have impressed us and shaped our world. Now Hollywood has its own piece of Africa, and I’m glad she is being treasured.

The nasty, treasonous folks at Black gossip blogs gleefully rub their hands together at the prospect of Lupita’s career faltering once America’s dark-skin fetish fades away. But that will not happen. Sorry. As this worldly woman, who also claims Mexican citizenship, is too special and inspiring to fall into the background.

I usually skip People magazine, the forebear of the degradation of popular American journalism. We certainly have them to thank for the mind-killing gossip rags flooding the newsstands today and keeping the awful Kardashians relevant. But a stopped clock is right twice a day, the saying goes. And they had the sense to catch Lupita right on time.

Share of the Week: A Shea Moisture Makeup Demo

After Shea Moisture announced a new line of makeup, I went looking for tutorials on how women were using the eye shadows, foundations and other products. I wanted to see what real women thought about them before turning my cart down Target’s makup aisle the next time I was there.

I’ve seen one video giving an overview of the line, explaining the range of offerings and quick first impressions. But Destiny Godley’s YouTube channel was the first (in my list of subscriptions, anyway) to feature a tutorial. Here, the L.A.-based makeup artist and beauty expert gives us her first impressions of the Shea Moisture foundation and bronzer. Just one tiny issue … she couldn’t remember the name of the foundation, because she was so enthused to get the product at she tore open the packaging and destroyed it — name and all! LOL. Hmmm. Maybe that item has the scent and hint of chocolate somewhere?

Anyway, here is Destiny Godley’s take on how well the Shea Moisture cosmetics actually work. Enjoy! She seems to give the products a thumbs up.

Then like, comment and subscribe … you know the drill.  🙂

 

While Dencia Seethes, Lupita Lands Another Cover

Wow, some folks are really sensitive. Like Cameroonian-Nigerian pop star Dencia for instance, who is taking yet another shot at Kenyan actress Lupita Nyong’o. Readers who are faithfully following this rivalry (Lupita versus who again?) might remember that Dencia took offense to remarks that Nyong’o made in a speech at the Essence luncheon for women in Hollywood. She read a portion of a fan letter, in which the young woman expressed gratitude to Lupita for inspiring her to embrace her dark skin and abandon the idea of buying a skin bleaching cream. Since Lupita’s touching speech, Dencia has made srenuous efforts to take Lupita down.

But it’s not working! Lupita went on to score a lucrative Lancome endorsement deal, and now … the cover of Marie Claire, May 2014. Feast your eyes on her dress, her face, everything …

Lupita Marie Claire May

 

In the latest catty remarks, again on Twitter Dencia responded to a fan praising Lupita , saying that the actress, who also has Mexican citizenship, represents a brand that sells skin lightening cream. There’s more on this over at The Grio.

Listen folks, there is a vast difference between lightening a few spots on your face to match the rest of your complexion, and considering dark skin impure. The latter is Dencia’s line, which I’m not buying for a minute.

Let’s all just keep rooting for Lupita, OK? She’s on fire, and with her talent, intelligence and good looks, deservedly so.

 

Lupita, the Newest Lancôme Ambassadress

20140405-122059.jpg

Black is beautiful. Just ask Lancôme — if you insist. The lovely Lupita Nyong’o was just named brand Ambassadress for Maison Lancôme. So by summer, we’ll begin to see her face in their campaigns for their wide range of beauty products. That means her delicate yet resilient cheekbones, flawless complexion, skin tone and the eyes that project so much intelligence and heart, will be on buses, TV ads, magazine spreads, all of it. We love it, don’t we?

Franchise Lehmann, general manager of Lancôme International, had this to say: “Both talented and committed, true to her African beauty, and showing a great curiosity and open-mindedness in her career choices, Lupita is by essence the Lancôme woman. A strikingly beautiful and intelligent woman, serenely but strongly living her life her own way, Lupita has this special kind of aura both enlightening and deep.”

The Kenyan actress, who also holds Mexican citizenship, joins a small club of other true beauties, including Penelope Cruz, Julia Roberts, and Kate Winslet.

Maybe I’ll have to break down and start adding Lancôme products to my lineup of foundation, powders and eye shadows. I’ve been eyeing the Lancôme walls at Sephora for sometime, anyway. Looks Ike I’ll be trying out some summer shades. 🙂
>

Share of the Week: Serious (Fashion) Talk with Chimamanda Adichie

To this day, I feel uncomfortable doing any makeup in the ladies bathroom at work. The president of our small firm, a woman, once walked in while I was applying a Milani lipstick that I had searched several different drugstores to find. It was early in the morning, when people are still checking emails and debriefing each other on their exploits from the weekend or the night before. Surely, a little sprucing up before diving into a day’s work would be OK, right? But as she swept into that lounge, the space seemed to get smaller, probably as my paranoia inflated.

She thinks I’m a shallow dimwit! Especially because it was only a few days ago when she walked in while I was brushing up my edges – because you know we sisters have to have laid edges – and now here I am putting on lipstick. Terrific. 

I snapped the lipstick shut and tried to talk myself out of being ridiculous. The date book and task list have another day full of work waiting. It’s OK to just add a pop of color before starting your day, if that’s what you feel like doing.

I wasn’t raised this way at all, to feel so awkwardly self-conscious about putting even a modest amount of effort into my appearance. My mother, as I’ve described her before, is a beautiful woman. She also knows how to dress elegantly, which only magnifies it. While She didn’t influence my style heavily, and I figured out a lot of it on my own after moving out, my mother did encourage me to make myself presentable and appropriate for every occasion. I remember one specific tip she passed on when I was teenager: When you feel down a little makeup can help brighten your mood. Not one of these dramatic, glittered, smoky-eye makeovers. Just something to enhance your skin and face so you don’t look haggard.

The thing is, after I graduated college and started working I ran into very few women like my mother — or the ones in my social circles at church or the neighborhood — who were smart, hard working, and stylish. Seems like smart women judged each other as harshly for dressing up as vain women did for slacking off on even the smallest detail in their appearance.

That’s why Chimamanda Adichie’s lovely essay in April’s Elle, caught my attention. It’s written perfectly, of course, and perfectly reflects what I think about this quirk smart women have. We love the words on the page and the clothes we wear, because there is enough room in our very open minds to love fashion as much as we like discussing the human condition. Ignore whatever the surly, dressed-down versions of the mean girls will tell you: It’s OK to look your best, or close to it.

At a newspaper where I once worked the editor in chief sniped at my hair style du jour, another one of the other writers popped off about how my mother probably did my laundry for me. Dressing neatly incurred scorn as well. After I started dating Hubby, we often ran into women who were happy to be shabby. One woman at a party watched me negotiate a steep, narrow set of stairs in heels and suggested I ditch them altogether. Clearly nobody took me seriously, because although I could explain to you what a waterfall in the repayment structure of a mortgage-backed security was and how it worked, these surly people took such issue with my generally secure attitude as to comment about it.

Listen, at a certain point I just had to forget about all the sharp-toothed, downer remarks from the Fashion Resistance. I knew the subject matter of the field in which I worked, and the people around me who mattered recognized that. Worrying about making a serious enough impression on the surly crowd who considered brown a ‘splash of color’ really didn’t help me solve any of my problems. But a little nude lipstick in the mornings did help brighten my mood for the day.

 

Blood, Sweat and Heels: Bring Back the Louds, Skip the Prouds

The other day I was stepping off the train in Manhattan, and caught a glimpse of a recognizable figure out of the corner of my eye. She was Melyssa Ford, the former hip hop music video regular, who gave that genre some of the most overtly sexualized  representations of women in that cultural genre. Well, Melyssa’s all grown up now as a residential real estate broker, and she’s also featured in “Blood, Sweat and Heels,” a reality show that follows the lives of six ambitious career women moving through elite professional and social circles in New York City.

Like most women on reality TV they had their disagreements, but the group fractured into two cliques rather early on in the 8-episode run. The Louds have Ford, Micah Hughes and Daisy Llewellyn.

image

The other women, Geneva Thomas, Brie, and Demerita, came to be known as the Prouds. Strange, how such a small group could manage to split even further, but we all know that New Yorkers are known for their intense personalities, so I guess some splintering was bound to happen.

image

In a certain way Season 1 was a bit too much for me. The louds could have toned down the drinking and cavorting — I could have done without the sight of Micah Hughes flashing her panties at a professional cocktail event — and they need to learn to admit when certain behaviors are over the top, embarrassing or frightening for others, or possibly dangerous.

The louds were a handful at times, but the prouds had far worse traits in my view judgemental, condescending and sniping. Demetria is about as warm and approachable as a serrated knife. Brie said in one confessional that Micah losing her father wouldn’t be the same as her losing her own dad, since Micah didn’t have her father in her life a lot anyway. She also laid into Micah a couple of times, calling her a sloppy drunk and — “the other woman.” She really sucker punched Micah on the latter, because she knows Micah was deceived in that situation. I thought Elsa was the ice queen of our times! Brie didn’t want to be friends with the woman, fine. But do she have to gratuitously disembowel her, too? And Geneva Thomas always seemed to go after Daisy Llewelyn with a vaguely familiar simmering resentment. Every so often during gatherings, like at the failed yacht summit and the reunion special, Geneva lashed out at Daisy with the flick of the hand and rudely telling her to “shut up.” During the reunion special Geneva talked about how she and Daisy were friendly colleagues, as fashion writers, but that dynamic changed, or rather Daisy changed, after taping started for the show. Maybe Daisy did cut that friendship loose, but these things happen among adults who are on the move. I don’t know if that was Geneva’s issue, but if it is, she should get some perspective and move on. Otherwise, cut it out, because it makes her look like a shrew, and no one likes those. It was also on the catty side for the prouds to trivialize the budding friendship between Melyssa, Daisy and Micah as nothing more than an enabling relationship. Write haughty and self-important indeed.

So yeah, I hope they get a new batch of “prouds” eventually. When I get home from work, write out bills, get Baby to bed, and fire up my computer to unwind, I need to see something relaxing. More creativity at work, more of the what’s involved in putting together a fashion feature, rather than people viciously laying waste to each other. Take me around to New York’s best bars, clubs, associations and whatnot, as much as possible. There was even some peace making, to the credit of Daisy, Melyssa and Demetria.

But if I’m going to come back for a Season 2, I’ll need Bravo TV to stop serving up more of the same bad behavior, and I’ll need the women to stop giving it to them.

There Goes the Neighborhood — Again

You fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me, the saying goes. What are we to make of our gatekeepers in mass media who keep handing victories to a woman with no discernible talent — except making a public spectacle of her sex life, heading up a cottage industry based on a vulgar life, and cashing on an extremely short-lived marriage?

You’ve all probably seen that the April issue of Vogue features a portrait of Kanye West and his fiancee Kim Kardashian. People everywhere are in an uproar that their beloved standard bearer of fashion, style and class would stoop to such depths add to let Miss Kardashian occupy the same space as pop culture royalty — Audrey Hepburn, Beyonce, Naomi Campbell, Cher, Michelle Obama, and Rihanna.

You can read all about the scorn being heaped on this couple, from fiery indignation to flip indifference, all over the Web. I see a couple of things going on here. The first is that Kim could not carry the cover alone, now that she is just past the prime of her career as a sex worker and fame monger. She had to share it with her repellant, self-anointed pseudo-messiah of a fiance. (Even tough I’ll admit that he is legitimately super talented.) Even Miley Cyrus was going to have her own Vogue shoot, until she incurred public contempt with her frenzied masturbating at some award show. If Vogue could defend its integrity from the likes of her, then how could it drop the ball when it came to the brunette?

Which brings me to my second point. The mighty Vogue has fallen far indeed if its resorting to two of the trashiest public figures to compete in the lineup at the newsstands. Neither woman is so striking or iconic that they really define the best sensibilities of their times, generally the reason people are chosen for the cover of Vogue. And their infamy supersedes any legitimate talent. Yes, Kim has her millions of minions of twits following her micro blog. She has the show, the fashion business and all the other trappings of a career born from a sex tape. And Miley is a singer. But neither one, as far as I can see, is an undisputed icon of fashion, or heading in that direction. Yet the most revered publication of fashion, style and beauty was actually going to reward both women with a cover. And wasn’t it a couple of months ago that Kanye was throwing a hissy fit over Michele Obama getting her second cover before his fiance got hers?

It really says a lot about how mystified the decision makers are in mass media about their audiences to keep foisting this woman on people. She got a TV show, treating us to her entire gold-digging family. Then Tyler Perry cast her in his movie last year, “Temptation,” but that didn’t help it at the box office, and now Ms. Wintour has put Kim Kardashian on the cover of her magazine. Will it work, though?

Let’s all take this lesson: As important as Vogue is in its own world, it upholds shallow and meaningless values in the bigger picture. We shouldn’t be overly concerned that the publication decided to feature Kim ahead of say, Lupita Nyong’o. (Had to work her in somehow!) It’s a sign of the times, and my sense is that it won’t pay off for the publication in the long run.

Aside from the YouTubers who post tutorials of Kim’s hair and makeup looks, or devotees of her reality show, who is going to treasure that issue of the magazine? The general public is reacting to Kimye like — symbolically enough, given her history — a rash that flares up every now and then but is never really cured.

Maybe I’m wrong and Kanye ended up giving an insightful interview. Maybe we’ll be pleasantly surprised, but I think we’ll just see more of the same antics from these two. Until someone else inexplicably decides to reward their off putting behavior.

Looking Forward to Zoe’s Story

It’s been a year since actress Zoe Saldana married Italian artist Marco Perego, and did so in such privacy that my nosy (and overworked, tired, blog-neglecting) self missed it. Well, she wants to talk about it now, and I’m interested in hearing what she has to say.

The Huffington Post has a preview and excerpt from Edit magazine.

20140315-083656.jpg

“I’m not a private person, but I am discreet, so [getting married in secret] felt right,” the 35-year-old actress tells the new issue of Net-A-Porter’s The Edit, which she covers. … As for why she decided to finally tie the knot with Italian artist Perego, whom she quietly married in England last June, Saldana says he brings out the best in her.

Zoe is a favorite beautiful woman at Black Like Mom, so let’s wish her all the best as God enlarges her territory.

Lupita’s Taking Meetings!

Kenyan actress Lupita Nyong’o made a big splashdown into Hollywood with her appearance in “12 Years A Slave,” and it looks like her career will stay afloat. The Hollywood Reporter is saying that Nyong’o has been taking meetings for potential film roles. Among the prospects:

  • a meeting with J.J. Abrams, for the female lead role in “Star Wars: Episode VII”
  • a courtroom drama, “The Whole Truth,” co-starring Daniel Craig

Between these career-driving lunches and her photo shoots, Lupita is on the run!

Image

Off to another script reading?

This is great news, because Lupita is yet another accomplished, impressive Black woman, with her eloquence, global perspective on life (she also has Mexican citizenship) gracious way of carrying herself and her talent. She deserves to work as much as she likes. (Have you seen the movie yet?  Do try!) She is fast becoming one of my favorite actresses, thinkers and high-profile personalities in general. Along with Kerry Washington, whose brains and beauty made her the toast of Hollywood last year, I feel like Lupita also represents the cream of the crop of young Hollywood. Period. Across the board, regardless of race. For Black girls in particular, however, I think she is an important source of artistic and intellectual inspiration, as well as pride. They can’t have too many heroes, in my opinion!

As Lupita’s awards poured in (she’s also just been nominated for an MTV movie award, BTW), I secretly hoped that her confirmed movie roles would too. Her iMDB profile was oddly quiet, though. Where were the titles of projects noted as in pre-production? Was Hollywood simply indulging a passing fascination with her rare beauty, or were they merely preparing for how to put her gifts to their best use? I’m rooting for the latter, and if I means that I have to haul @ss, take a screenwriting course, win millions in the lottery and write and executive produce a project for her myself — well, then so be it! She has a lot more to offer, and I’m here for just about all of it by any means within my grasp. LOL!