Don’t Look Now, but He’s Flirting

It’s holiday party time, and the Singletons are decking the halls, and themselves; they are gifting and mingling. I came across a childhood friend’s social media update, where she mentioned that she suspected a White guy at work was flirting with her. She said it was the oddest thing, because she hadn’t experienced anything like that before.


Well, actually, it probably has happened to her before. I’ve known that young lady for years, and she has always been beautiful inside and out. She, her mother and her sister are all cut from the same fine, luxurious, beautiful fabric. In any case, I suggested that it had happened before, but she was just noticing it because men outside our race are being bolder about stepping to us.

Dating and flirtation have always been potentially treacherous undertakings for men and women, fraught with the dangers of misread intentions, fumbles and deflating rejections. But it seems like you hear more stories these days about White guys wanting to approach with Black women, and asking how he can get her attention. I’ve had front-row seats to the spectacle of really handsome White guys trying and failing to get the attention of Black women. Only to be totally overlooked, like she didn’t know he was there.

And the objects of their attention aren’t strictly the Mowry twins type, either. These are slim, professional, articulate and desirable Black women. And did I mention that they include the types with dark skin and short hair? Men of all cultures have always openly admired world-class women like Lupita N’yongo, Whitney Houston and Diana Ross. But for us commoners, the admiration has been less obvious.

In my case, it was a mixed bag. There was one guy who seemed supremely confident, which is attractive in and of itself, and never held back. He flirted so much that people in the office thought for sure that we were dating, even though we weren’t. And then there was the super subtle one who kept offering to make me popcorn. I think he might have been trying to break the ice in his own way. But who knows?

Ladies, here is the point: Be aware, and be polite! If you want to date, and aren’t averse to being immersed in someone else’s way of life for a spell, then pay attention to what’s going on around you. If he isn’t your cup of tea, so be it. Just be cognizant of things that are happening around you.


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