NOT in Search of Black Women

Wintry storms are a mixed blessing. Normally, they provide the perfect setting for some hot chocolate drinking, DVD watching and if you are favorably paired with another, canoodling! Last night, however, the winter storm that hit North Jersey knocked out half of the channels that I normally watch, so I settled for programming on NBC. I saw the premiere episode of ‘Momma’s Boys’, a dating show similar to The Bachelor, but with an odd gimmick: three bachelors and self-described momma’s boys have brought along their mothers to help them decide on a suitable woman for a long-term relationship. All of the bachelors are white, and several of the 30-odd women are black. One of the mothers, Mrs. Bojanowski or Mrs. B, appropriately enough, is outrightly opposed to her son dating or marrying a black woman! She is very particular about whom her son would choose as a wife, and the list of untouchables includes Asians, Jews, Muslims and women who are outspoken. Only a woman who is white, Catholic, thoroughly domesticated and pliant enough to do what she says will do for her — and her son Jojo. I guess mama can’t stand the competition from any self-assured, or in her mind, uppity, women any more than she can handle the thought of a mixed-race or interfaith union in her family. So maybe she should steer clear of a black daughter in law!  

Too bad for Mrs. B this show is stocked with no less than five — count ’em — black women hoping to make a fleeting love connection on this show and suffer a very public breakup. Not to mention the two Asians, the Jews and one woman who describes herself as so forthright that, well, you have to her her description of her boldness. Dear readers, listen to Jojo express herself on this issue, and then take a look at this clip of the women confronting the offending mama. As reprehensile as Mrs. B was in this premiere episode, I was a tad more disappointed in the sisters. Why did these eligible women feel the need to, first, appear on this show, but then list their accomplishments to Mrs. B, apparently to show her that black women like them are good enough for her son? If an ignorant meat head like Mrs. B writes you off, why respond by trying to impress her? It’s pointless. 

Do not let her disdain for us get you down, though. Judging by the preview reel, which shows her son making out in a hot tub with one of the sisters, he doesn’t agree with mama’s preferences on that point! Thank goodness the poisonous thinking stops with her!

Pay little heed to the show ‘Momma’s Boys’ and the offensive mother to whom it has chosen to give so much air time. Shows like this are broadcast purely for our idle entertainment, a form of guilty pleasure that no self-respecting ‘strong black woman’ should take seriously, even for a second. Beyond that, we all know the outcomes of these reality TV dating shows. The couples part ways in a couple of months, usually. That’s not what we really want for our fellow sisters, is it? Especially not some of the educated, accomplished and strikingly beautiful sisters who were picked as contestants for this show — and who really should have known better than to waste their time, talents and beauty this way.


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